5 gentle ways to discipline your child (without the naughty step)

The power of positive is mighty. It not only helps your child but helps you stay calm and more in control too. Here are 5 positive discipline methods to try.

1. Explain what your child can do, instead of what they can’t

When a child ‘misbehaves’ it’s all too easy to leap in and tell them to stop their behaviour and point out their wrong.

If they are shouting we might say ‘Don't shout’. Turn this on its head. Instead of telling your child what they should not do, guide them to what they should do instead. So instead of ‘don’t shout’ you might say ‘Use your quiet voice’.

2. Give choices

It’s frustrating being a small child. Especially when you don’t have the language to explain how you feel.

When there is a conflict, offering choices gives your child some control and gently guides them to a positive resolution. If they pushed another child, for example, you could first acknowledge why it was not the behaviour you wanted by saying ‘That was not nice and made Evie feel sad’. Then offer your child a choice as to what to do next.

In this instance it might be: ‘Do you want to say sorry to Evie and give her a hug? Or do you want to say sorry and then stay with me until you calm down and feel better?’.

Choices can offer a distraction and ward off tantrums too. Instead of saying ‘Time to go. Put on your shoes’ try saying ‘Time to go. Do you want to wear your shoes or your wellies today?’

3. Create a ‘yes’ environment

Sometimes your toddler or small child can get up to the most trouble while you are busy or distracted.

They might empty the cupboards while you are cooking tea or shout for you while you are on the phone and do whatever it takes to get your attention.

Set up a ‘yes’ environment at these flashpoints.

Set your toddler up with an engaging and exciting activity while you will be busy. That might mean getting out pots and pans and wooden spoons so they can play with their own kitchen drumkit while you cook or getting out crayons and paper to occupy your child while you are on the phone.

That way you’re giving them activities they can do instead of telling them what they can’t.

4. Puppet power

Puppets are great. They can work as a guiding voice to mediate when tempers flare.

A third party (that is ‘not’ mum) can calm things down and diffuse any tension. You don’t need a proper puppet. A quick sock puppet or a talking toy will do.

If you talk to your child through this puppet you might find they listen and engage in finding a solution to the problem. Once the situation is resolved the puppet might even get your child to giggle too.

5. Distraction wins the day

When your child is getting cross or frustrated then leaping in with distraction might ward off an impending tantrum. This works especially well for toddlers.

Suddenly noticing something interesting that you spy, can divert your child’s attention from whatever was making them cross and change the mood.

Sometimes just going into a different room (you might suddenly remember that there’s something very exciting there) or heading outdoors can switch the mood and stop a tantrum in its tracks.

What battles do you struggle with, with your child? Do you have any tricks you use to calm them down gently?

Help. Both my girls have got chicken pox and they're really suffering with the itchiness. One mum said to me that baths with Head and Shoulders shampoo (used as bubble bath) are a great way to soothe chicken pox. Has anyone else heard of this? Wondering if it works.

If you used a sling which one did you use and why? I'm trying to find the best one to but that lasts and is comfy. Would love some recommendations from other mums.

Here's to 2020! 👏

Christmas pressie idea?

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We have chicken pox in the house! 2 miserable spotty kids. What are your top tips to sooth itchy chicken pox?

Why babywearing matters

Babywearing culture has re-emerged in recent years and continued to grow ever since. If you use a baby sling, it may feel right for you as it brings you and your baby closer together. But does it really make a difference to baby and why is it important?

Here are 6 reasons why babywearing matters:

1. Your baby will cry less

Research has shown that babies who are carried more tend to cry less. Your baby is snuggled near you and feels safer so he doesn't have to cry as much. Also because you’re so close, you pick up on any cues of distress more quickly and tend to your baby's needs in less time.

2. Babywearing helps you bond

Holding your baby close releases the ‘cuddle hormone’- oxytocin. It not only makes both you and your baby feel more relaxed but also helps you develop that special bond with baby.

3. You can be hands- free

Carrying your baby in a sling means that you’re hands-free to go about your business and do all the things you need to do as a busy mama.

You don’t have to worry about putting your baby down and checking on them every two seconds. They’re right there with you while you do the chores, head on a walk or go about your day to day life. Happy, snuggled and safe.

4. It helps them learn

Carrying your baby might help their cognitive and social development. As they spend less time crying, they spend more time learning from their environment.

They’re close to you and hear your voice as you go about your day. And all of this close interaction helps them learn.

5. It can reduce your chances of postnatal depression

Baby wearing greatly increases the amount of time you spend with skin to skin or in close contact with your baby. This has been linked to decreased rates of PND through research.

Baby carrying can also make it easier for new mums to break social isolation by walking and heading out into the community to meet other parents.

6. It makes your baby feel safe and cocooned

Your baby spent nine months in the comforting enveloping space of your womb. And then they suddenly find themselves thrust into a bright and bustling world.

Carrying your baby in a sling recreates something close to the warmth, safety and security they felt in utero.

The TICKS rule for safe baby wearing

If you’re carrying your baby in a sling or wrap it’s also important to stick to safety guidelines. TICKS is an acronym for safe baby wearing that all parents should be aware of:

T - Tight

I - In view at all times

C - Close enough to kiss

K - Keep chin off chest

S - Supported back

You can find more resources for safe babywearing here:

http://babyslingsafety.co.uk

References:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3517799

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22537390

What do you love most about babywearing? 

A friend of mine gave me an air purifier. You would not believe the difference it has made. The air feels so fresh and clean and I feel like my son's asthma symptoms have reduced.

Find of the week:

How cute are these little keepsakes for the first tooth and the first curl?

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How much screentime do you allow? (And what age are your kids?)